


A path not walked upon

by HkHk



Category: Journey into Mystery, Thor (Movies)
Genre: A mature Loki, Alternate Universe, Double WTF, F/M, Much of this is headcanon, Odin's A+ Parenting, Oh Tears must be so salty!, Oh look a mature Thor, WTF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-31
Updated: 2013-05-31
Packaged: 2017-12-13 12:42:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/824439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HkHk/pseuds/HkHk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki chooses a different path. Every iteration of himself he'd done the same thing over and over again seeking happiness that cannot be his. Maybe he could change this time. </p><p>Or in other words, Denial has a tributary in Asgard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Had he been watching Loki would have felt a bit guilty as to what he was doing. But he wasn't, his eyes were fixated on the floor, counting the marble steps. 

"What did you say?" Never had Odin sounded so...lost, so weak. 

"I"m leaving." Loki repeated for the second time to his parents, and the hundredth to himself. 

"You're going on a trip brother?" Thor, oh so lovable stupid Thor did not get what he was talking about. As always. "Why didn't you tell me? I'd like to go as well!" 

Loki felt himself grind his teeth but managed a passable smile. "No Thor, I'm leaving Asgard forever. I've come to realize that what I want I cannot get. And I'm smart enough to know that I will never get what I want." 

"I don't get it." Said Thor, no doubt with a confused look on his face. 

Loki didn't want to draw this out. If he did...he was sure Frigga would somehow manage to convince him to stay. He couldn't ever tell her no. She was his mother, she raised him and all men love their mothers. Even villains. He intended on telling them his intentions and then leaving. Originally he planned on simply vanishing abruptly. 

"You win Thor. Congratulations. I will now take my leave." Loki rose to his feet. 

"No. Loki." Ah, and there it was, the stern words of a stern father. "You will explain yourself and you will remain here until you do so." 

Odin Allfather drew himself to his full height, looking at his youngest son in what could only be described as confusion. Perhaps he even understood just a bit of what this was about. Or maybe he didn't want his back up plan to leave him. 

For once this entire conversation, Loki looked at his former family. Thor did look like a confused puppy, big eyes and even bigger muscles. Frigga looked completely and utterly depressed, she probably figured everything out and was knew how things would turn out. She probably already knew his fate. Odin Allfather was simply displeased. 

"I'm leaving." Loki repeated for the third time, addressing each in turn. "I want no part of the coronation. I want no part of this family." He heard a sharp intake of breath from Thor. "I'm not your brother." 

To Odin, he grinned grimly. "You're not my father." I know your secret thought Loki. I know the truth. You never loved me. I hate you. I hate everything that you have made me bear. You should have let me die. You should have told me the truth! 

And to Frigga he said nothing. 

"Loki! You will explain yourself!" Odin Allfather began, his voice powerful but there was little he could do as the youngest of his sons faded away like smoke as if he wasn't really there. 

The following silence was broken by Frigga's soft hiss as she took Odin's hand with her own. Out of them all she could read Loki the best and in his eyes she saw only a pulsating blue coldness. They would find out later that Loki's things were gone, that he left no trace of where he may have gone to. For what reason would Loki have abandoning his place in Asgard? Surely there must of been some reason.


	2. And fate still claims him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can't escape your destiny, Loki.

Thor immediately spurred off to go looking for his brother and to drag him back to his senses. What else could he do? Loki spewed some nonsense about not being brothers and it was days before the coronation. What in all of Asgard could be wrong with him? Between himself and his friends, they discussed in length about worms, some evil magic or as Sif offered, maybe Loki is just a little shit? Thor didn't agree, of course, but he couldn't ignore a few truths. Over the years, Loki's tricks were getting more vicious. What used to be funny little things were turning into dangerous habits. What changed Loki from a cute little kid to a silent (now that he thought about it Loki had changed a lot and none of it good) shadow that drifted behind Thor? 

It was by chance that the Lady Sif found a curiously bound book under the floorboards. It was old looking and judging by the date it had been hidden for some time. It was a diary of sorts written by Loki. Ah, perhaps they'd be able to figure something out. And that they did, shedding light on a few things. But it was an old diary written by a youth, how closely could those feelings be mirrored in the adult version? 

The Warrior's Three plus Sif never really considered Loki part of their crew. It was hard to get to know a person who would play tricks on them, make jokes at their expense and who couldn't use a sword to save his life. It would have been easier to shun him. But Thor wasn't having any of that and would drag his brother along. They soon got used to it and Loki got used to them. 

"Dear Diary." Sif flicked through the pages. "Who are these new people? Thor is mine. All mine. I hate them for taking Thor." 

Even at that young age Loki was a spiteful little thing. But then all children were. She could duly remember the small green eyed shadow that hung off Thor's every word and movement. As he got older and was able to partake in the warrior's games she remembered how small and thin he was. Even she could lift a sword and become proficient in it in less time than it did for Loki. 

Sif had no love for Loki, he was a curious creature, all thorns and poison but he wasn't always that way. He used to be happy with them or was that happiness a lie? With Loki it was very hard to tell what was a lie and what wasn't. "Dear Diary, I'm going to cut Sif's hair. Now no one can say that Loki Odinson is not capable of great deeds." 

She rolled her eyes. Cutting her hair was not a great deed it was childish and petty. Getting her a magical wig that turned her hair black could certainly be considered a hero's quest. But Loki did the quest not to be a hero but to fix a wrong. He had the gall to look amused at her lack of hair. It served him right to be caught by his own tongue. 

Startled by her own venom, she shook her head. It wouldn't do to sink to his level. Loki may have been a wily creature but as he grew older he matured, he became a better man. He was Thor's adviser and friend. 

"Sif!" And there was Thor, hammer in hand. "Come, I have business with the frost giants." 

If Loki was here, he'd be able to talk Thor out of such foolishness. It was only days before the coronation and it would be risky for the future king of Asgard to be gallivanting around in known enemy territory. But Loki wasn't here and Sif wasn't one to tell Thor no. No one really told Thor not to do anything. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Loki." The trickster turned his head, a slight smile on his face. "Mother." 

It would be Frigga to figure out where he was hiding out and to seek him. She knew him the best after all. She enveloped him in a hug. "Are you done with your sulking?" 

"No, mother. Has Thor gone crazy yet? I bet he's turned over ever rock and bush and caught every creature thinking it is me." A great deal of mirth danced in his eyes. 

"Oh my son..." Loki's smile waned. "Mother?" 

She sighed softly. "Please come home. Thor worries and Odin..." 

"And what?" 

"Odin worries as well." At Loki's scoff she scowled at him, catching his chin with her hand, forcing him to stare her right in the eyes. "Tell me that Odin worries not for you, that his love for you is not unbound?" 

His tongue was leaden and he could not tell her that there was no love in Odin's heart for him. Even if it were a small portion, there was still love and that Loki could not ignore nor lie about. Deep inside, there was love for Loki. 

"Fine." He mumbled, pouting slightly. "Let me stay a bit longer mother? I want Thor to squirm just a bit more." 

Frigga just scoffed, giving Loki a disapproving look that he ignored. "Come home before the coronation. I know it's your brother's big day and that irks you some, but he would want you to be there. You're family and you're second in line to the throne. I know you're mature enough to come. We should talk later about what happened. About why you left so suddenly and so vocally." 

Loki shrugged, running a hand through his hair, tension in every line of his body. "I just wanted to be dramatic mother. Everything has been so dull lately that I figured we needed something to lighten the mood." 

"Lighten?" 

"....Well keep me amused." He nearly wilted under her gaze. "Sorry mother. Sorry. I will return in time for the coronation. Promise." 

"My son." She kissed him on the forehead. "I am pleased that you are well." 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Loki did come back and with his return came a whirlwind of chaos and pain. He'd love to say that he planned it but truthfully it was much of a shock to him as it was to everyone else.


	3. Fate, such as it is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ikol brings trouble with him and Loki cannot help but listen for who does Loki listen to but himself?

He didn't mean to come here but he couldn't help himself. Ever since he was a small child he'd always had this feeling, this tugging sensation deep inside him pulling him to another place somewhere far away. It would always lead him to the armory. There was something inside there was called to him. At first it was easy to ignore but as time passed it remained, digging deeper and deeper inside him. Any other being would have surrendered to the feeling but Loki was not any being, he was a God and a master at the sedor. Instead he used it. 

Whenever he needed to pass through the rifts between worlds he could always find his way home. 

He placed his hand on the casket biting back a hiss as a coldness raced up. But there was a coldness that came from within, racing outward. 

"Loki!" 

Slowly, the second son turned, the blueness fading from his skin. He had always knew that he was different, adopted maybe. Secretly Loki had hoped keenly that he was his mother's child for only she would know him so. She was the only one who gave him any time, any affection while his father had favored Thor. Always Thor. 

"What am I?" 

"My son." 

Loki felt nothing. The inevitable truth came out and he felt nothing at all, not anger nor fear. He just felt cold. "Am I?" He stepped forward, the walk was long and as he got closer he could see the pain in Odin's face. "The casket wasn't the only thing that you took, was it?" 

"After the battle I went to the temple and there I found an infant, abandoned. I could not leave it there to die." Odin looked weary, tired. "In that moment, I thought I could take you home with me, teach you our ways. That we could broker peace. It was..."

"A mistake?" Loki cut in, "What am I now? A relic to be kept away, locked up until you have use of me!" 

"You are my son." Now it was Odin who cut Loki off, that terrifying rage suddenly apparent. But the anger wasn't directed at Loki, it was simply there. "Those foolish plans were of a desperate King who had dragged Asgard through war, war that she was tired of." 

"You could have told me." Whatever anger he could muster paled in comparison to the crushing depression born from the realization that he was truly not Thor's brother. His innate ability for magic wasn't because he took after his mother more than his father but that he was jotun. That he was never meant for the throne because he was not Asgardian. That this carrot that was dangled before him all these years lead to nothing. "It all makes sense now, why no matter foolish and stupid Thor was he would ascend to the throne." 

He climbed the steps, his face twisted in rage. "No matter how much you claimed to have loved me, you would never allow a frost giant to ascend to the throne!" 

Odin slowly collapsed, his arm reaching out for Loki before he simple stopped moving. "...Father?" 

Loki knelt by his father, hands on his arm and shoulder. "Father?" His eyes darted up staring into the darkness. "What did you do.....Guards! Guards!" 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Loki sat on the throne, an inscrutable look on his face. He dismissed the guards, removing the helmet and placing it on the side. "Was this your plan?" 

A magpie flitted over his head, perching on the horns of his helmet, cocking his head at him. "It is how it should be." 

"Really?" He tched, biting the edge of his thumb. "Should I trust you, Ikol?" 

Ikol looked at him with a beady black eye. His beak opened. "How does Loki trust, but himself?"


End file.
